Myself -- armed with a pair of earplugs, an iPod and a jar of peanut butter (brilliant idea, Beth) to stave off the always ill-advised late-night impulse to buy train noodles -- I am a master of China train travel.
A few days ago I left Xi'An, which is perhaps most famous for those warriors (which are fine, I guess, if you go in for miles and miles of a
ncient crumbling statues. Which, OK, I kind if did), but will always remain most memorable for me because of its pancakes. Yay pancakes.Chengdu has not been the sunny, 50-degree paradise that Weather.com promised, but it has its charms. It's got that misty narrow alleys of ornate wooden buildings thing going on. And there are pandas. Which I hav
en't seen yet because Carolyn pretty much ruined it for me by pointing out that any animal that has got itself on the endangered list by virtue of being simply too lazy to procreate perhaps deserves extinction. (There may be other factors, but who wants to risk the wrath of China by googling it?) Also, if we're being honest, I may be putting off the panda experience because the little beasts are apparently active for all of one short hour early in the morning, so any panda-viewing trip starts long before what I consider an appropriate time to be out of bed whilst on vacation.Next on the list: Wandering some nearby sacred mountains inhabited by marauding monkeys while pondering the meaning of life ... and whether or not I have the fortitude (or lack of rational decision-making skills) to stick around for another year.
It's a lie! They aren't even active for that one hour! and I know because I woke up at the crack of dawn, all hungover and pissy, and went to see them and they quite literally did nothing but sit on their asses and eat bamboo.
ReplyDeleteHere is what you get to experience at the panda breeding center in chengdu:
Signs that say "Love me, don't bother me" "I am the National Treasure and I hate noise" and "Wildlife is not food." What does that one even mean? Did the breeding center imagine that some of us had come packing heat? "Hunting rifles away!" Or were they worried I'd try to eat a tree?
A lecture in which you learn that pandas at the breeding center are shown panda porn in efforts to get them in the mood. I am not making this up.
A movie at the panda cinema. I can't even talk about the movie at the panda cinema. It was all such a traumatic experience for me.
I applaud your decision not to see the pandas, though I have no idea why you want to see monkeys instead. Evil creatures. Also? YEAR TWO! I think...is ok!
After watching Mickey Rourke on the Golden Globes last nght, I've decided that rotund, logey creatures aren't nearly as cute as they might seem. That includes pandas, I think. Skip 'em. Enjoy the trip, though
ReplyDeleteAnthony would like you to bring him home a marauding monkey. Thank you.
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